dreary, shall we say?

i’ve left my other wordpress to the follies of my youth
something more light-hearted to discuss about among like-minded individuals
this, on the other hand, has received a make-over.
i hope to be able to talk about real things here.
things that matter.

has 2008 started for me?
in some ways, i think not.
denial has its way of twisting me around it’s finger.
there are still some people whom i am not talking to
solely for the fear that the dynamics may change
and not in my favor, at that.

i am learning to be less shallow with myself.
even the lies that i tell myself are becoming a little more real to me each day.
you ask, how can that be?
how do you speak of lies that eventually become true?
well there really isn’t such a thing
but only a figment of one’s imagination.
sometimes you repeat something over and over and over
so many times
that you start believing that it’s real.
i would not beg to differ.

i want very much to be accepted into Yale.
there is no doubt about that.
however i have yet to begin any real work that will help contribute to my application.
i think i have written out resolutions and wishes and aims for this year.
but i have not started on a single one.
this is how i know i have yet to kick off my 2008.
best year of my life?
i certainly hope so.
but it will definitely be nothing less of 366 days i’d rather not remember if i don’t do something about it, right now.

honesty did me some good a few months back.
i had the opportunity to cut myself from all ties that i felt were dragging me, slowing me down.