she's on the right track, sopping wet!
31.12.10
27.12.10
Like the man cycling around my neighbourhood, picking up discarded cardboard boxes for sale/recycle. we share the same kind of demons.
I'm no different from you.
We share the same sorrow, the same loss.
it's always just a matter of time.
resist to be a part of consumerism
you can't wash out the stains left behind.
I'm no different from you.
We share the same sorrow, the same loss.
it's always just a matter of time.
resist to be a part of consumerism
you can't wash out the stains left behind.
26.12.10
different weekend, different person.
i've got my torn jeans in the backseat, a sweater in my trunk.
i'm ever ready to jump, maybe even drown in you.
but where do we go?
it isn't permanent, ambiguous statements of many nights.
today on a red couch, tomorrow with white sheets, the day before sipping green tea.
i ask why, but truth is, i don't want to know.
tucked away, folded, neat and tidy, are people I am most likely to never have in my life. made out of paper, i can set you alight. and when you do burn, you are over in a matter of seconds. that's how i feel about you, you who concern yourself with money.
i've got my torn jeans in the backseat, a sweater in my trunk.
i'm ever ready to jump, maybe even drown in you.
but where do we go?
it isn't permanent, ambiguous statements of many nights.
today on a red couch, tomorrow with white sheets, the day before sipping green tea.
i ask why, but truth is, i don't want to know.
tucked away, folded, neat and tidy, are people I am most likely to never have in my life. made out of paper, i can set you alight. and when you do burn, you are over in a matter of seconds. that's how i feel about you, you who concern yourself with money.
22.12.10
We are the collective product in progress.
Sometimes a by-product of who we meet, what we see.
in the closing days of 2010, there's been so much said and done.
every year moves faster than the previous one.
perhaps at the beginning of my gap year i didn't exactly know what i wanted to do, the dream of studying abroad this year, did not materialize. i kept putting it off, i wanted so badly to make us that in the end i saw where it was all going. just nowhere.
i took jobs, signed contracts, put up hours for things i didn't want, people i didn't like. there was a lesson to be learned in every place. it was making me unhappy along with all these emotions that weren't even in check.
it was just a big fat mess, the more i tried to clear it up, the messier it became.
still, i think in the months past, a lot of me has become clearer. i will return to university in February. I am going to Laos for a week before that. and in the most immediate future i am going to settle university issues, take out a loan, finish this internship, hopefully score another internship, drink more wine, eat and be merry, have Christmas and New Year pass by without any more emotional drama. i sometimes get the feeling that my life seems to be like a scandalous television mini-series, the one where the girl is always lost. but hey what do i know? i don't even watch TV. yes, that's right, when people ask me where i get my American accent from, i say it's from American TV. darlings, i lied okay? i don't have an accent, i just speak good English. anyway i'm deviating. point is, there's a lot to be done in the last week of this decade.
Sometimes a by-product of who we meet, what we see.
in the closing days of 2010, there's been so much said and done.
every year moves faster than the previous one.
perhaps at the beginning of my gap year i didn't exactly know what i wanted to do, the dream of studying abroad this year, did not materialize. i kept putting it off, i wanted so badly to make us that in the end i saw where it was all going. just nowhere.
i took jobs, signed contracts, put up hours for things i didn't want, people i didn't like. there was a lesson to be learned in every place. it was making me unhappy along with all these emotions that weren't even in check.
it was just a big fat mess, the more i tried to clear it up, the messier it became.
still, i think in the months past, a lot of me has become clearer. i will return to university in February. I am going to Laos for a week before that. and in the most immediate future i am going to settle university issues, take out a loan, finish this internship, hopefully score another internship, drink more wine, eat and be merry, have Christmas and New Year pass by without any more emotional drama. i sometimes get the feeling that my life seems to be like a scandalous television mini-series, the one where the girl is always lost. but hey what do i know? i don't even watch TV. yes, that's right, when people ask me where i get my American accent from, i say it's from American TV. darlings, i lied okay? i don't have an accent, i just speak good English. anyway i'm deviating. point is, there's a lot to be done in the last week of this decade.
7.12.10
Sleep mode
one week to go, the distance is good. nothing i can do to change it.
to be honest, i suppose i am doing it all deliberately.
let's not complicate it all further.
my brother is now married, an addition to the family.
i still don't quite know how to react, the weekend was a whirlwind of parties, drinking, smiles and many people.
i feel even more insignificant in his life.
monash is taking awhile to respond, that makes me feel terribly anxious.
if they don't take me in, i'm not sure where i'd go to finish this up.
the end of the year is about 3 weeks away, i think we've all been overwhelmed by the wedding to be excited about Christmas and New Year's. doesn't look like anything's about to happen.
i've made plans for 3 getaways. now to make money to fund those trips, sigh.
Lykke Li said it, we've got to get some.
to be honest, i suppose i am doing it all deliberately.
let's not complicate it all further.
my brother is now married, an addition to the family.
i still don't quite know how to react, the weekend was a whirlwind of parties, drinking, smiles and many people.
i feel even more insignificant in his life.
monash is taking awhile to respond, that makes me feel terribly anxious.
if they don't take me in, i'm not sure where i'd go to finish this up.
the end of the year is about 3 weeks away, i think we've all been overwhelmed by the wedding to be excited about Christmas and New Year's. doesn't look like anything's about to happen.
i've made plans for 3 getaways. now to make money to fund those trips, sigh.
Lykke Li said it, we've got to get some.
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