moonlit.

tonight, as we lay tipsy on the shores of the island
there was an exchange of promises of each others' lives.

i said yes, i do.
it's a long road ahead but yes, i do.
there is no other.

he slipped the ring on my finger.

circle

i think it's interesting how a symbol of commitment is different for everyone.
it could be a house, or a pair of diamond earrings.
might be just words, or in black and white.

i got what i wanted today, i wonder if it's really something that i really want
it's a huge promise after all, at least on my part.
O
it's simple, it's plain
all i want (:

thanks yang

bring it.

bukan main emo lagi aku kebelakangan ini
entah lah
mungkin hanya sebab ku mempunyai masa yang terluang buatku memikirkan perkara yang tidak patut mengganggu perasaanku.
tetapi ku sedar, tiap akhir tahun, ku mesti terbelenggu dengan masalah yang timbul secara automatik. ku berusaha untuk menyisihkan perasaan semua itu dengan melakukan aktiviti lain.

i can't type for nuts in malay. sounds like some really bad malay novel. +_+
buntu dibuatnya.

i spent 45 minutes talking to a cab driver who made me feel like i was going all over town and not exactly headed to my destination. i got there in the end anyway but during the journey, he talked about his family, how his grandsons are more interested in dancing, singing, playing video games, snooker and pool and constantly failing in their exams. how his own kids are pretty smart but have dumb twits for kids. he's proud of his wife whom he loves very much, and he appreciates a smart woman who chose him to be a partner for life. and on he yakked. about unscrupulous taxi drivers, who cheat, including himself. the fares that skyrocket when it rains, when it's a certain area. he was cool. he's just one of the many many faces out there who are looking to make a living, to fill in time that goes by. i wonder if i would live to an age where i would also fit seamlessly in that sea of people who are all just working to get by.

i don't want to work to get by, i don't want to be the person who works their whole lives away and not see what it really is like out there. i realise that my family's scared. they are always scared. of going out, cause it's a bad world out there. of being robbed/killed, because the papers sell such news. SENSATIONALISM. now that's something that came right out of my finals paper. lol. well of course! it's because such news sell. i mean, who would want to read about 'heroic' deeds like rescuing drowning cats and dogs all day?

i want to live. like i've never been afraid. you get so scared that about the world out there that you forget what it is like to be fearless and to just go where you will. i think i have become one of those people - the ones who are scared of things to happen.

i read of stories where people experience life-changing ideas and i'm inspired to do the same.
it's nothing when all you do is just to read about it and then let it pass you by.
when opportunity comes knocking once, it won't come around again.
i know i've let up a number of chances to get to where i want to be
and while i regret those, i hope that for the year to come, i will reach out and be a part of a life that wants more than just a bystander.

i'm a player, baby. (:

eat this.

i don't have a lot to say on the account that not a lot has happened
i just felt like being pissy right here, for no logical reason known to man.
it's like getting a brand new top and you wear it out, cause it looks oh-so-cool and nice etc
and you didn't realise it at first, but the tag that u forgot to take out is at the back of your neck
and it's annoying the begeezus out of you
you think of a million ways to discreetly get it out of your nape without losing any face over the little tag.
but you're stuck with it til you get home, and when you do, you yank it over ur head and rip that damn thing off. mission accomplished.

yeah that's how i feel like some days.
something is annoying the pee out of me but i can't figure out what the fuck it is.

i've got too much time on my hands babes

boleh tak kalau aku nak balik sekolah skrang?

and cookie jar is THE SHIT right now, fucking sensual, oh think of swaying hips, and bodies that melt together when the mood is right, the way you grind as the music flows.
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. damn hot.

i got a splinter from that one.

i cling on you like pandas cling onto trees for life.
but you start to defy my arms and legs
i get scars from when you push me away
so i fall off but i don't leave.

that's just how i feel about some people i got to know.
the ones who stay, i'm ever so thankful.
but the ones who made excuses, who didn't care anymore
who turned into faces i don't recognize
yeah, you pushed me away.
i would have stayed forever.
and you know it.

i wouldn't have left for the world
and yet i hear endless excuses and whatnot about no time, no money, no nothing, no love left for me.
so i'm out in the cold. in the rain.
and you gave up someone who would be with you through thick and thin.
fair weathered friends? i know plenty.
laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.

i guess people always leave
and it's always hard to accept that.
it's happened so many times, different ways and sometimes they are the same person who came as fast as they left, sometimes it's just someone i didn't think i'd miss, sometimes it's someone i didn't expect to go, mostly i just think of those who left me out.

as insignificant one may be, karma returns to bite.
later on in life maybe, or it could be tomorrow
but nevertheless, i'm glad i never wronged anyone who left.
i had not lied or hurt you, you whom i once cared so much about.
and you've wasted it all and dumped it where you know i'd find it.

i'm still so emo over people who don't care about me anymore because i still think about you sometimes. i think about how we had that barbecue party at the park, when we first tried a cigarette, when we cried together over ex boyfriends who didn't want us anymore, when we got drunk and became the laughing stock of the party. when so many things happened and within that moment, it couldn't be the same if it wasn't you.

you took a little piece of me when you left for good.
i just wonder if you think about me sometimes like i think about you.

don't ask.

ko ni mmg pantat ko paham tak?
nak aje menganggu hidup org lain
yg kite ni tak kacau sesiapa pun
ko ni nak buat hal tu apasal?
dah tak cukup kerja tu, nak cari kerja lain la iye?
bila masa ko ni menyibuk sgt hal org lain
cam pukimak lebih
jaga tepi kain orang aje pandai
pergilah blaja sungguh-sungguh.
bukan main mengada lagi
muka kau tu mmg nak kena sepak ngan aku
tak puas betul aku tengok muka yg menyampah lebih lebih tu

geram gila bila aku pikir pasal pompuan ni
kan aku dah gembira ngan hidup aku ni
tak tentu pasal dia nak muncul jugak
siapa yg bagi kad jemputan nih?
ko tak erti pon
ko betul tak paham la
yang kau tu buta ke, bodoh ke, pekak ke?
buat apa ko nak campur tangan dlm hidup ku ni?
adakah sesiapa tu suruh awak menyibuk dekat hidup aku nih?

aku letih nak merajuk pasal betina ni
lebih lagi aku tak reti nak gaduh ngan dia pasal orang yg tak bermaruah ni
yang kau tu nak rebut ngan aku
memang dah tak leh lawan la
kecuali kau tu menggunakan cara yang terlalu melampau
kalau cam tu, memang la aku tak leh rebut pon sbb kau tu menggunakan taktik yg kotor

bila pikirkan pasal pompuan ni
memang naik darah aku
bukan pasal aku takut dia meninggalkan aku
tapi pasal dia mungkin menggoda dan mencuri hatinya
yang hak milik aku, tetap hak milik aku

pompuan jalang, kau jgn harap nak berebut ngan aku
aku mesti pikir cara musnahkan kau.