lies.

you don't know what it's like to be cramped in a train full of strangers trying to jostle and hustle
push, shove, and make their way thru
don't make promises you can't keep.
and you had an extraordinary ride if you had people offering you seats
because guess what?
they normally don't give a shit.
it's only because you have some status.
+_+
try being a CITIZEN
not a damn royal "holier than thou" being

i hate all this shit.

wait for me.

i was this close to crying outside a club last night
for that moment it felt like i was really losing him.
not to anyone in particular, but just lost as it is.
this has happened before, my little inch of holding back
that pretty much messes things up.
i'm glad he's my raft to hold on to.
anyone else would have given up.
i will not let you down.
i will try my ultimate best to keep you with me, and me with you.

this isn't one of those "for fun" things.
it never was.
from when i first met him til now.
i'm just afraid of being serious.
i still am afraid.
but it's too late for fear.
i signed up for this, and i'm willing to take it.
just hold on.
i'll be right there. all 110% of me.

understand that i don't see you as someone i can replace.
irreplaceable.
i can't buy, bargain, rent another you.
and i don't want to.
remember, i got the best fucking deal in the world.
i believe there's good days and bad days.
and to quote, "so what if we had 3 bad days, we'll have 77 good ones to come." (:

you are the island and i, the boat.
i don't want to dock anywhere else.

i love you.
if i ever lose you, i will lose it.