drink and dial.

normal people drink and DRIVE.
i dial. all the wrong numbers in my phone book.
fumble with the numbers and laugh at nonsensical bits.

do i need to say more ka?
+_+
kena tiao already
thus i am no longer downing when i want to.
i just roll over and sleep.
funny how you just have to go back to knocking sense in me so that i realize.
was it so hard after all? to walk down this path again with me?
i need you.
it’s weird i didn’t realize it sooner.
but i do.
call it an oddity, label it “mengada”, whatever man.

this is another pile of jackshit that friends would say it’s my own doing.
ma hai it’s not lor. okay.
+_+

i just… do. geddit?

and omg math test today was omg.
i did what i could. and dear God, help!
*K was caught with someone else’s answer sheet but he didn’t get fucked la.
so goodie for you la.

oh and miss-holier-than-thou, you beat me hands down.
talk abt REAL drama, yo.

*BC’s baby is omg so damn cute. i wish i could post our photograph up here
but *CC is going to take forever.
takpe i show you soon k?
comel gila babi! nak makan!

mark the last week of April on your calendars! (;
i will holler on what it is abt soon!

*blows kisses* (:

do not disconnect

i am attached to the ipod. i can’t call it mine cause it isn’t mine.
this little scratched, bumped beauty belongs to the rebel.
but i get to have it for an undetermined amount of time because she doesn’t use it +_+
takpe i shall treasure and love this with all my heart, i hope, wth

the irony of it all is that i’ve been meaning to get a music player that can store all the music in the world and more because i get bored on the stupid bus, train, taxi, waiting for the rain to stop, waiting for class to start, waiting for class to end, pretending i am interested when i really am not, thus the music player should amuse me when no one can.

and then when i plug in and sit in my little happy melly-land, no ugly noises henceforth….
people come up and start talking.
wtf man.
sigh i know i should not be anti-social and unplug those damn earphones when people are talking to me.
but i am a lot happier listening to adam levine singing about breaking-up with me hehehhe perasan
or lullabies that put me to sleep in bio (:

i like talking to you, but i would really love it if i could be a social hermit for a bit.
all the plans are driving me crazy.
i swear.

today is my last free day of the week and i should be doing math cause i have a quiz next week
but blogging about issues that don’t really matter seems a lot more interesting compared to stupid matrix questions +_+

writing about serious issues isn’t my thing. i.e. politics, child poverty
it’s like this place is for me to bitch, but even so i am not completely honest here.
i omit when necessary. i don’t want you to know certain details about me.

funny thing is, i am actually feeling quite lost.
i am wading through the waters that hold all for me, but do i really want to stay in here?
i might drown, it’s too tiring to keep my head up.

wtf am i rambling about now.
tak masuk akal.
+_+

btw, i wanna book tickets to kuching now!
cheap cheap cheap!
prolly only 1/3 of the peanuts going, hmph!
too bad you guys have internship la, summer trip la wtf
the rest of you happening ppl out there, let’s go (:

leap

hiatus from blogging.
not intentional.
just that there’s just been so much going on.
way too much for me to handle, even.
good things, bad things.
repetition.

had some big fights.
had some make up talks.
in the midst of mending broken bridges.
time time time.
compress time your head la.
no matter what, we never have enough time.
i know i don’t.

i’m done having little crushes all over the place.
(:
it’s hard to keep track, let alone update people on what’s going on.
i shall be matured and wise in choosing the next person.
it will be a person with brains, please and thank you very much.
this is the consequences of being around people who don’t use their brains very often.
therefore, i need someone with half a brain at least.
+_+

btw, *S mentioned that i have an image of someone who’s too cool to admit she’s stupid.
+_+
i was quite the wtf when i heard it.
but then, who gives a shit what kind of “image” i have, as long as i’m no ho
i’d like to think i’m someone who isn’t a complete dunderhead.
being blur doesn’t count!
+_+

sometimes i wonder what the heck am i babbling on about.
doesn’t make sense to me =/

dramatic, is how i’d describe the last two weeks.
with the harsh words exchanged, with me walking away, with people walking away from me
with drunken nights and chimney heads.
knowing me, i’ll probably miss out on some stuff that was important.

dang, this is the consequences of facebooking and mengabaikan this space.
sometimes i think the title’s kinda cornish.
but it’s what i mean, to you, to people who were in and out of my life.
similar to temporary hinges, holding me up for a while before making way for other hinges to lend some sway

i will definitely need more than a few hinges to take the place of the one leaving.
hey darling, i’m missing you already ):

and i am complicating things on my own.
i am damn bloody smart i know. +_+
let sleeping dogs lie, they say.
i just feel like i should make things right while i can, i.e. with *L *case yang paling menyakitkan hati*
but it seems so futile when you tepuk sebelah tangan
mana la ada bunyi
i don’t blame him, we have separate lives
but i can’t help but feel hurt when at one point we were as thick as thieves
and now…. there’s nothing left to salvage.
i suppose it takes time and i don’t want to rush into anything.
to a certain extent, i want what we once had.
sigh.
it’s hard to let go, even after all this time.

i had an okay v day.
no expectations.
and i had a little surprise.
damn, now i can’t get him out of my mind.
he’s so *arghhhfdfohjnvorgjN* annoying!
but….. *blushes furiously*

heck i ain’t gonna admit it here!
paham-paham la this is masalah negara..
weekends spent in such disorder
weekdays wasted on sleeping in the sun
i am honestly not taking my studies seriously at all.
in fact the only thing i am taking with a straight face is, chores.

*A came back perth-land and i didn’t get to see him
i am disappointed cause *YN got to bum with him
+_+
can you spell “unfair”?

oh fuck it’s twelve thirty already!
nights lovelies

tie this up.

i am not about to be embroiled in another school girl crush on some being that doesn’t know of my existence.
it’s going to be tough for me to keep out of it.
i can’t help it if i find him completely appealing!!!!
+_+
why.
seriously.
do i need more drama in my life??
there’s a friend with some sort of benefit.
there’s that some sort ex-lover.
there’s another boy who takes my breath away.
there’s the best friend who walks out on me.
and then there’s a cute squinty eyed dude around the block.
okay you know what?
i’m losing count.

sigh.
make me a shoelace and let me knot this.
it can’t get more complicated than what it already is.

chasing pavements

i think she’s damn cool man.
adele that is (:
i doubt she’s new, just maybe i found her a little later than others.
lovelovelove the video!
talk about creativity!
i can’t come up with smth like that even if you gave me forever.

three weeks of college has ended.
herein comes a week long of holidays.
boring la.
i’m not going for switchfoot anyways
i’ll save up for singapore (:
excitednya aku!

positive thinking should work wonders, no??

on a sadder note, i’ve lost you.

it’s going to sound super cheesed up
but it does hurt big time.
no kidding.
2 hours in kopitiam, coffee after coffee, stick after stick.
just listening to tunes we used to sing together

you walked away.
end of story.
but here’s what i’m going to say
if you decide to come back
you know i’ll still be standing right here.
i don’t hate you.
i just don’t understand you.
and you’ve made it clear that you’re going to walk down your path of life without me.
that said, i quote “inevitable, regrettable.”

i thank you, you who held me up.