lost.

honestly fuck this shit la
i don't get it
why does so much crap have to happen within the last 24 hours?

it's seriously fucked up
if only you could see how screwed up the entire situation is
you probably wouldn't even believe me.

i don't know her, and i don't know how it was like when you were with her
i didn't know you then, and i'm not going to say she's not a bitch or she is or whatever
to set the record straight, i don't know her but anything that i've heard of her
is negative.
there's nothing positive at all
choosing to talk about it again, no matter what the reason, shows that you can't let go.
i don't know if it's denial on your part or maybe it's just the same with everyone...
for me, i don't think it's possible to completely forget.
there will always be bits and pieces left somewhere on the sidewalk.
but i wonder why you are so affected by it.
i don't believe in retaliation.
after all, she doesn't deserve any of the time and attention that is given.

to be fair, it's your past.
i have no right to ask about it.
it's personal.
but i can't help but feel insecure *yes, insecure is my middle name now* and even, threatened.
i just wish it would all just end.
for your story and her's.

there are still some people missing in the picture as of now.

you're the missing piece in my jigsaw puzzle.

i saw my favourite little boy, and julie and dennis.
goodness i feel like a stalker, outside of ac's toilet wtf
but yeah all that weird shit paid off.
i don't even want to think how many people must have thought i was crazy or if i was hallucinating.
but yeah, i was a little apprehensive because i only saw three of them.
"is there a fourth person here?"
hugs all around because it's been almost a year since i saw them! (:
funny thing is, i saw zaim too and that two people should say the same thing to me in one day.
"i just want you to be happy. as long as you're happy, then that's good enough."
it makes me feel loved, even if i don't see you guys often enough
but you know me, you know me.
i don't know if i would have sat down at that table if i knew he was going to be there.
i highly doubt it.

i'm not the best person to deal with when it comes to such sensitive issues.
but tomorrow, tomorrow will be a better day.

as for you, you don't know me.
please don't come up with jackshit.

and i seriously need a vacation. i don't feel like doing my paper.
i wish i was going to bangkok with the peanuts.
and more than ever, i wish he was back here already.
another week to go, possibly more.