fuck this shit
oh no that was just random
just like that
but i'm craving for a little bit of everything
i miss steve!
i miss my pop
i miss jack
i miss ex colleagues
i miss ramly burger
i miss that chee cheong fun i used to eat twice a day
i miss the peanuts
i miss happy days
i miss sad emo days? wtf
ah fuck it i just miss every damn thing/person/animal @_@
i'm trying to be pro by getting copies of the republic, nicomachean ethics nia ma i can't pronounce THAT! but rest assured tree huggers, all that paper ain't going to waste
maybe one day i'll eventually understand everything this bearded dude(s) talked about
but til then let me be content with confusing myself upside down with their many many words ((:
31.10.08
you know it.
well you've absolutely got to stop being such an eye-catcher
you've probably got a clue or two in your head that you're hot
but boy, you have no idea. no idea at all about how smoking sexy you REALLY are
and yes, that's MY boyfriend i'm talking about.
oh who cares if i'm so perasan
it's not like i gloat about him everyday :P
i also need more kids to tutor at this moment if i am to be able to go for a holiday this year end
one student is just not doing it for me.
why is money such a head-turner?
the instance cash is laid on the table, it's all green-lights.
geez, can we get less money-minded?
sure it makes the world go round
but it's not exactly the way to go about doing things
i hate people who use money as a way to go against someone
got a problem with the rival business? pay up and he's gone.
need some help with some bullies? just take a peep in the bank account and it's a done deal.
materialism will be the death of us all.
me, included. because a tank of petrol can't last a week
and nothing's getting cheaper except that i get less money.
that's the only down when everything else is going up.
it's bullshit and we know it and YET
we worship this little piece of paper.
it has no value at all, except for what the authorities give it.
it's worth nothing but everything at the same time.
how fucking ironic is that.
they tell you, you need to get that LV bag or you won't be looked at the right way.
they say that you need to have a Porsche or it's the end of your social life.
geez man, these days everyone gets robbed of every penny, left right and center that i won't be so worried about getting that Victoria's Secret lingerie for fear i might not even make it to my own doorstep in one piece.
it's all linked, we are just too blind to see it.
oops my mistake, we choose to be blind to it.
argh i could go on forever but i need to get my Hermes coat at the dry cleaners.
you've probably got a clue or two in your head that you're hot
but boy, you have no idea. no idea at all about how smoking sexy you REALLY are
and yes, that's MY boyfriend i'm talking about.
oh who cares if i'm so perasan
it's not like i gloat about him everyday :P
i also need more kids to tutor at this moment if i am to be able to go for a holiday this year end
one student is just not doing it for me.
why is money such a head-turner?
the instance cash is laid on the table, it's all green-lights.
geez, can we get less money-minded?
sure it makes the world go round
but it's not exactly the way to go about doing things
i hate people who use money as a way to go against someone
got a problem with the rival business? pay up and he's gone.
need some help with some bullies? just take a peep in the bank account and it's a done deal.
materialism will be the death of us all.
me, included. because a tank of petrol can't last a week
and nothing's getting cheaper except that i get less money.
that's the only down when everything else is going up.
it's bullshit and we know it and YET
we worship this little piece of paper.
it has no value at all, except for what the authorities give it.
it's worth nothing but everything at the same time.
how fucking ironic is that.
they tell you, you need to get that LV bag or you won't be looked at the right way.
they say that you need to have a Porsche or it's the end of your social life.
geez man, these days everyone gets robbed of every penny, left right and center that i won't be so worried about getting that Victoria's Secret lingerie for fear i might not even make it to my own doorstep in one piece.
it's all linked, we are just too blind to see it.
oops my mistake, we choose to be blind to it.
argh i could go on forever but i need to get my Hermes coat at the dry cleaners.
29.10.08
random
i don't know if i've changed in recent times
or has time changed the things around me
it could be both
it could be me just talking jack-shit
but different is as different can be
i'm such a home-body now
from a wild child wtf to a pillow-hugging twenty year old watching old movies at home
i don't enjoy clubbing, partying, socializing.
it takes up too much trouble, really.
to dress up and make up, prance around in different outfits, one night after the other
stumble home, high on drinks, with empty pockets.
goodness, it must be a phase surely.
how could it be here forever?
tropic thunder is the worst movie i have ever seen in the last quarter of the year.
and i hope to God i don't watch something like it ever again or i'll demand my two hours back.
good grief, fucking waste of my time.
or has time changed the things around me
it could be both
it could be me just talking jack-shit
but different is as different can be
i'm such a home-body now
from a wild child wtf to a pillow-hugging twenty year old watching old movies at home
i don't enjoy clubbing, partying, socializing.
it takes up too much trouble, really.
to dress up and make up, prance around in different outfits, one night after the other
stumble home, high on drinks, with empty pockets.
goodness, it must be a phase surely.
how could it be here forever?
tropic thunder is the worst movie i have ever seen in the last quarter of the year.
and i hope to God i don't watch something like it ever again or i'll demand my two hours back.
good grief, fucking waste of my time.
all over the place.
yes i'm all about the drinking
had a hiatus of about 6 weeks
and a holiday jumped me right back where i left off
it's not a bad feeling, to be tipsy
and happy and high and horny
it's even better when you're with the other half who's just as likely to jump your bones at that alcohol-induced minute.
but i still don't want to go back to having a tolerance level that ousts everyone else's
staying sober is the way to go
even though so many of my friends can't believe it
sometimes i wonder
why is it so hard to write
it's a pain to put words down on paper
i probably have 5 million things to talk about
i just don't know the way to go about it
i just had a dream where my ex and i were back on good terms again and that he fell in love with me. our mutual friend did everything to make it happen. geez.
it's not unbelievable but it's the last thing that needs to happen right now if you ask me
i met my baby's acquaintances yesterday
and to get dagger-like stares, cold shoulders and unfriendly whispers
i could just be making all this up
but it was not cool.
bitch, get your own man.
having a whole weekend of his dad telling me about how women aren't worth jack after 30
and how alike this father and son duo are, and how much he plays women etc etc etc
it was just down right depressing.
and to see air-heads parading about him like that isn't even doing my security levels ANY good.
so i'm stuck wondering what if...?
i get pissy, moody, grumpy
but my baby understands
for which i am forever grateful.
but i can't keep putting myself down
i am smarter than the rest of them
even if it means boosting my ego to no ends.
the boy gets what i mean
and likewise.
i hold him to his word.
he ain't gonna be doing any ditching.
and neither am i.
when life hands you a sour lemon
you put sugar in your sour lemonade!
had a hiatus of about 6 weeks
and a holiday jumped me right back where i left off
it's not a bad feeling, to be tipsy
and happy and high and horny
it's even better when you're with the other half who's just as likely to jump your bones at that alcohol-induced minute.
but i still don't want to go back to having a tolerance level that ousts everyone else's
staying sober is the way to go
even though so many of my friends can't believe it
sometimes i wonder
why is it so hard to write
it's a pain to put words down on paper
i probably have 5 million things to talk about
i just don't know the way to go about it
i just had a dream where my ex and i were back on good terms again and that he fell in love with me. our mutual friend did everything to make it happen. geez.
it's not unbelievable but it's the last thing that needs to happen right now if you ask me
i met my baby's acquaintances yesterday
and to get dagger-like stares, cold shoulders and unfriendly whispers
i could just be making all this up
but it was not cool.
bitch, get your own man.
having a whole weekend of his dad telling me about how women aren't worth jack after 30
and how alike this father and son duo are, and how much he plays women etc etc etc
it was just down right depressing.
and to see air-heads parading about him like that isn't even doing my security levels ANY good.
so i'm stuck wondering what if...?
i get pissy, moody, grumpy
but my baby understands
for which i am forever grateful.
but i can't keep putting myself down
i am smarter than the rest of them
even if it means boosting my ego to no ends.
the boy gets what i mean
and likewise.
i hold him to his word.
he ain't gonna be doing any ditching.
and neither am i.
when life hands you a sour lemon
you put sugar in your sour lemonade!
17.10.08
)':
perhaps by now, you are sick of listening to my apologies for doing things that aren't justified in the first place anyways.
maybe now, you rethink about our relationship and what truth does it hold for you
i won't deny it, you said some things that you didn't mean, things that i took the wrong way perhaps. my sensitivity rocketed and then it went all sour.
but perhaps most of all, i'm upset that you didn't come after me
instead, that one text message made me feel bad enough to go back to you.
in this respect, it shows that i just can't walk away. no matter who's right, who's wrong.
and for that, it really sucks to be me.
you probably think that i over-reacted. i was being childish. that i didn't get the joke.
i only wanted some time for us to be together, after a whole week
i had work, but you come first, obviously.
then why would you be so friggin sarcastic?
it wasn't a reason for me to walk away.
why would i do that? i only wanted you to come for me.
maybe you love me a little less now.
maybe now, you rethink about our relationship and what truth does it hold for you
i won't deny it, you said some things that you didn't mean, things that i took the wrong way perhaps. my sensitivity rocketed and then it went all sour.
but perhaps most of all, i'm upset that you didn't come after me
instead, that one text message made me feel bad enough to go back to you.
in this respect, it shows that i just can't walk away. no matter who's right, who's wrong.
and for that, it really sucks to be me.
you probably think that i over-reacted. i was being childish. that i didn't get the joke.
i only wanted some time for us to be together, after a whole week
i had work, but you come first, obviously.
then why would you be so friggin sarcastic?
it wasn't a reason for me to walk away.
why would i do that? i only wanted you to come for me.
maybe you love me a little less now.
2.10.08
mish-mash
it's all been way too strange of late
and it's all at one go
could it be possible that i'm losing my friends?
not just physical ties with the ones i'm close with
but every connection i seem to have had once before with some certain individuals are *poof* gone now...
i do realize i haven't been the GREATEST friend on earth
but do i need a different approach?
i'm that one person who does not like to be alone.
sure i am anti-social at times
but it doesn't mean i don't want my friends anymore
or then again, were we ever really anything more than mere acquaintances?
that's my fault
i always fall for it, hook line and sinker before i know which bitch got me
i don't want to struggle for it, it makes me look weak
but i feel like i'm losing my position here within a limited circle
and i must say, i detest that feeling.
i'm so insecure now that the slightest words might break me.
even if you never meant it in a way that i would take offense.
i'm seriously feeling ridiculous because i used to pride myself with having so many friends
and now i'm left feeling like the only real person i can count on is me.
after leaving this post to sit by itself for an hour or more
i was talking to my parents
wow, and we weren't arguing
amazing eh?
but yeah, it was good to let it out (:
religion, what we had before, etc
so many things
it's a matter of choice, no?
and it's all at one go
could it be possible that i'm losing my friends?
not just physical ties with the ones i'm close with
but every connection i seem to have had once before with some certain individuals are *poof* gone now...
i do realize i haven't been the GREATEST friend on earth
but do i need a different approach?
i'm that one person who does not like to be alone.
sure i am anti-social at times
but it doesn't mean i don't want my friends anymore
or then again, were we ever really anything more than mere acquaintances?
that's my fault
i always fall for it, hook line and sinker before i know which bitch got me
i don't want to struggle for it, it makes me look weak
but i feel like i'm losing my position here within a limited circle
and i must say, i detest that feeling.
i'm so insecure now that the slightest words might break me.
even if you never meant it in a way that i would take offense.
i'm seriously feeling ridiculous because i used to pride myself with having so many friends
and now i'm left feeling like the only real person i can count on is me.
after leaving this post to sit by itself for an hour or more
i was talking to my parents
wow, and we weren't arguing
amazing eh?
but yeah, it was good to let it out (:
religion, what we had before, etc
so many things
it's a matter of choice, no?
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