all over the place.

yes i'm all about the drinking
had a hiatus of about 6 weeks
and a holiday jumped me right back where i left off
it's not a bad feeling, to be tipsy
and happy and high and horny
it's even better when you're with the other half who's just as likely to jump your bones at that alcohol-induced minute.
but i still don't want to go back to having a tolerance level that ousts everyone else's
staying sober is the way to go
even though so many of my friends can't believe it


sometimes i wonder
why is it so hard to write
it's a pain to put words down on paper
i probably have 5 million things to talk about
i just don't know the way to go about it


i just had a dream where my ex and i were back on good terms again and that he fell in love with me. our mutual friend did everything to make it happen. geez.
it's not unbelievable but it's the last thing that needs to happen right now if you ask me


i met my baby's acquaintances yesterday
and to get dagger-like stares, cold shoulders and unfriendly whispers
i could just be making all this up
but it was not cool.
bitch, get your own man.


having a whole weekend of his dad telling me about how women aren't worth jack after 30
and how alike this father and son duo are, and how much he plays women etc etc etc
it was just down right depressing.
and to see air-heads parading about him like that isn't even doing my security levels ANY good.
so i'm stuck wondering what if...?
i get pissy, moody, grumpy
but my baby understands
for which i am forever grateful.
but i can't keep putting myself down
i am smarter than the rest of them
even if it means boosting my ego to no ends.
the boy gets what i mean
and likewise.


i hold him to his word.
he ain't gonna be doing any ditching.
and neither am i.


when life hands you a sour lemon
you put sugar in your sour lemonade!