solitude, you're by your lonesome

i might not be the first to admit this
but i’m afraid of being alone
i used to be the one that can’t even go to the loo without someone
not because i was afraid of toilet monsters, mind you
i was just used to the company of someone.
and in this way, i am spoiled.

this is about where i’m supposed to say i”ve changed anew
and to a certain extent, i can say “aye! i am new!”
having to do things on my own now
isn’t half as difficult as i thought it would have to be
taking the train alone, squashed in with strangers who are also alone
(or so they think, for i am one of you, am i not?)
eating your over-priced lunch at some obscure corner, with people not even throwing you a glance
it’s all one can do to pretend not to care
but you do
the thought of having spent my past few months in a manner that does not befit my personality
it is almost as if i am buried within, and on my surface, an introvert has taken over.
talk about split personalities
i resurface sometimes
with certain people around
familarity does the job.
but mostly i stay hidden, not one of the shining stars you see.
and i keep breathing.
so i am still alive.