wanderlust

It's late. I should be asleep. It's been rather exhausting, the past week and I am feeling empty. The talk of change, of loss, of damage. I am not entirely whole because I had to sacrifice and there isn't any true valid return. But escaping is temporary relief. Delving right into this painful mess is not my first option. Maybe at some point I'll feel better. maybe there are other losses greater than mine. It would be unfair to compare. After all, there isn't a benchmark to begin. It doesn't have to include time and effort to develop a connection. It was just inexplicable, the tenderness and reciprocating was everything. Now I need to pretend that it never happened. It cuts too much to linger, everyday. I get to keep the memories but that's all that remains.