the things i think about at night

perhaps it's just a distant memory after a long time
or a booger that you can't get rid of but you insist on picking at it
all those random trails that don't lead you to where you want to go

coming up with the truth to the people you care about is something i absolutely detest doing.
maybe when we are all aging gracefully, i can let slip about how it's not a crime to just live.
even then, i don't trust myself with being completely capable of letting that sink in.

i don't wish for different people to live with,
i just wish we shared similar ideas so that we could reach a compromise.
i suppose if i were in your shoes, i might even over-react.
dying is the easy part of life.

i'd hate to be the one to say this
but you'll regret it.
sorely.
not because of me, but because of your choices.
you took the easy way out, and now you have to live with it.
it's simple for others to tell you, oh don't care about it, it's not worth your time etc
but how can i explain that it's much more than just caring about someone?
i can't cut you out completely
it's strange how deep the roots can run.
maybe they'll dissipate on their own with time
but to ask me to dig them up?
impossible, i say.

one thing's for sure, you'll never win it back.
fool me once, shame on you.
fool me twice, shame on me.

i'm glad i started out with a different contact etc
being anonymous is hard in the blog sphere
but i can try.

there's space for other people too, just don't forget about me.