bring it.

bukan main emo lagi aku kebelakangan ini
entah lah
mungkin hanya sebab ku mempunyai masa yang terluang buatku memikirkan perkara yang tidak patut mengganggu perasaanku.
tetapi ku sedar, tiap akhir tahun, ku mesti terbelenggu dengan masalah yang timbul secara automatik. ku berusaha untuk menyisihkan perasaan semua itu dengan melakukan aktiviti lain.

i can't type for nuts in malay. sounds like some really bad malay novel. +_+
buntu dibuatnya.

i spent 45 minutes talking to a cab driver who made me feel like i was going all over town and not exactly headed to my destination. i got there in the end anyway but during the journey, he talked about his family, how his grandsons are more interested in dancing, singing, playing video games, snooker and pool and constantly failing in their exams. how his own kids are pretty smart but have dumb twits for kids. he's proud of his wife whom he loves very much, and he appreciates a smart woman who chose him to be a partner for life. and on he yakked. about unscrupulous taxi drivers, who cheat, including himself. the fares that skyrocket when it rains, when it's a certain area. he was cool. he's just one of the many many faces out there who are looking to make a living, to fill in time that goes by. i wonder if i would live to an age where i would also fit seamlessly in that sea of people who are all just working to get by.

i don't want to work to get by, i don't want to be the person who works their whole lives away and not see what it really is like out there. i realise that my family's scared. they are always scared. of going out, cause it's a bad world out there. of being robbed/killed, because the papers sell such news. SENSATIONALISM. now that's something that came right out of my finals paper. lol. well of course! it's because such news sell. i mean, who would want to read about 'heroic' deeds like rescuing drowning cats and dogs all day?

i want to live. like i've never been afraid. you get so scared that about the world out there that you forget what it is like to be fearless and to just go where you will. i think i have become one of those people - the ones who are scared of things to happen.

i read of stories where people experience life-changing ideas and i'm inspired to do the same.
it's nothing when all you do is just to read about it and then let it pass you by.
when opportunity comes knocking once, it won't come around again.
i know i've let up a number of chances to get to where i want to be
and while i regret those, i hope that for the year to come, i will reach out and be a part of a life that wants more than just a bystander.

i'm a player, baby. (: