my phone rang. and then it was just a missed call. I called back and said hey, i haven't heard from you in a long time. Yeah, i just thought of calling to say hello but I wasn't too sure if you'd want to hear from me. My partner looks at me witheringly and I bid you goodbye, speak soon, the usual conversation ending bits. Who is that? Why is he calling? Why? Why? And I just clam up. What do I say? The truth? Some lies? Well, this person saved me. I was on the verge of falling in a depressing dark dank ditch. This man, gave me his time and tried his very best to be with me. To just keep me company. He never asked any questions, never asked for anything in return. We never spoke of 'love', because it was a different feeling. 'Love' was for dizzy couples, high on adrenaline and can't stop kissing the other. It was far from it. I'd say affection and a genuine care for my well-being. He accepted my flaws and thoroughly enjoyed my company. He respected my decisions. Which is so much more than I can say for some people that I know today. I regret that I broke his heart, I regret that I wasn't able to reciprocate in the way he deserved. the typical story is as such 'it's not you, it's me.' Some days, I wonder how is he doing, and I know I can call and just say hello. But I suppose it's better to leave the buried Pandora's box where it is.