i can hear the words but i can't see the deed. just stop and be still.
i'm disinterested, tired and empty.
stepping out of this case, it will be the same if everything broke apart and turned to dust.

so be it, good night.

dreamcatcher.

Watching the Truman Show for the first time, gave me a little insight.
Not much, but just enough to understand the frayed edges of deception.
It had entertainment value and there will be an essay question based on the movie for my Media Studies paper on Monday. What wouldn't I give to be able to skip this dratted subject? but really, that movie was absolute brilliance. and i'm left wondering if it's even possible to do so. to place someone's life as the reality of how we've always lived. it's cruel and naive to think one wouldn't want to escape. anything's got to be better than what we've known it to be. or even if it isn't better, it's got to be different! isn't that the whole point of living? to be different and to challenge what we already know? we can't already know everything.


i grieve for the Trumans of this world who close the door on the truth.
and i salute the Trumans who bid the audience 'good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night' to find something beyond that wall of clouds.

i read some Kerouac after the movie, and I must say, I want to know what is it like to have some San Francisco blues. Because I haven't tasted anything other than the waters of my own backyard where I can't tell the difference in the texture, the clarity or weight. For all I know, it could have been the same all this while, all waters in all bodies of water. But I need to know that for myself. the major and minor keys, if any at all.

You laugh, scoff, dust and walk away from the dreams I care to share.
Perhaps you're the one who would stand in the way of my jet plane.
I'd welcome you aboard. I just hope you can help me build this ambition, strengthen the hope instead of breaking the light or pulling the brakes.

idiot.

Super bitching post. i need to get this out of my system, PLEASE.

so i think you're really nice and i wouldn't mind being an acquaintance.

but please. what are you? 15? what the fuck is up with lovey dovey posts up on FB?

goddamnit, not everybody needs to proclaim their love every beating moment.
yes you probably think i'm jealous, or just hating on you for no reason.
girl, you just gave me a MAJOR reason to get your face out of my way.
besides, what's the big deal? i love you la, you love me la. come on man.
if you were in a long distance relationship, i totally get it. but hell, you are in each other's faces ALL DAY LONG. honey i believe you need to BREATHE!
i am truly thrilled at your happiness and joy bla bla bla
but you need to get a fucking grip. it's so overly done, it's disgusting.
i feel like throwing up when i come across a photograph or a post.
other people EXIST too! can you not act like you're the only girl in the world?
i actually feel slightly sorry for singletons because i know how amazing it is to be in love but please don't flood the newsfeed with something everyone already knows! it's irritating!

i'd like to see how you'd react if i did the exact same thing.

so back the fuck down and chill out.