broken, not whole

she just wants to dance, she doesn't want a man

still so sore. wounded and hurt.
there is no way to fix something so broken.
i don't want to have it fixed.
or rather i don't need to.
the state of the present is sufficient balm.

i refuse and resist.
it'd take someone stronger than you are
all over me, the used and the abused
what makes you think you deserve better?
nothing but just one of the many.
nothing but just a pebble on this beach, amongst the rest

she wants you more, still. yesterday, today, and tomorrow. every tick of the hands on my clock, that's the distance between us.

people are never ever happy enough to be happy for other people.
maybe next year will be better than this year.

not so much for what's been done, more for what's to come.
my answer will always remain the same, regardless of my heart
"to be happy..."

i see you again, it's been too long. or maybe too soon.
i see you in my dreams ever so often.
can't make out what you say, but your actions could do some good to me.

the way sampoerna cigarettes have a crackling sound as it burns

ah, hurt.
but reading that blog made me think, i'm thankful that i'm loved in return
instead of just "tepuk sebelah tangan".
i hope she's happy doing what she's doing, i know i couldn't do it if i were her.
you can tell when she dreams about him, it's seen in the way she talks about him
and there's never going be any given back.


i wonder if you snap and break, and maybe you do but no one saved you.