treading ice.

i feel a lot better now.
tuesday saw a lot of unnecessary wasting time on public transportation, a few new faces, some obnoxious idiots whose names i don’t even know, high school freshies who are so high school musical i want to keel over, but i did learn some geography and cultural ways different from my own.
i couldn’t be screwed to go get books on wed, and thus i am text-bookless for next week!
sigh.
i actually drove to college yesterday, nearly colliding with 4 other vehicles. a celica, a perdana, a kancil, a lorry.
yeah i am quite the pro hahahha
i also missed the turning to the national museum, thank goodness i eventually found my way there.
but with a four-hour break, i could have gone home to sleep and eat and bathe and drive back for english.
so i went yam char with *UW and found my way to college.
i spent like 15 bucks on parking alone can you believe it?
no hot sightings as usual.
sien.

here’s something new, a new year’s kiss. i know it’s not so new a year anymore.
but it did feel sorta odd/natural/unexpected.
what the hell am i saying!?
nothing will come of it anyways.
just thought i’d write it here in case i forgot.

American Idol 7 is so bleeding funny!
but i do feel kesian for the contestants who audition.
it’s so sad, being made fun of on tv, and there’s the whole world watching!
not just US!
i guess this means i won’t be trying out for “one in a million” now.
hahahahhahahhaahhaha
i’m kidding man!

back to the grindstone

you know how i hate studying?
yeah i hate studying.
it’s no surprise
but studying isn’t half as bad when you got the right mates to do it with.
*not like we’d be studying half the time anyways, but you get wat i mean, yes?*
but studying in a place that’s pretty much void of people that you like,
now that’s what i call a shithole.

i’m sure you know college just started for me.
and so far, it’s only been my first day.
and yet.
and yet.
i am failing to network
yes. that’s right.
maybe cause i can’t be bothered anymore.
it just struck me this morning when i was stuck in some lousy traffic
maybe i have met all the people i’ve wanted to meet.
and it’s probably enough to last me a lifetime.
no kidding.
i don’t want to spend the rest of my time here being fake.
like i really want to know anybody anyways?
i think not.
and before u start bombarding me with things like
“aiyah don’t lie la, how can you be so anti-social?”
well i’ll tell you now.
it’s a choice.
it’s an evident path i am quite willing to take.

in fact i am quite fucking pissed with everyone right now
the exception being my mom, dad, en and j-man.
everyone else can just fuck themselves.

i won’t ask to be forgiven for being crude.
or rude. or watever.
it’s how things are right now. this very moment.
that i feel THIS fucked up to tell everyone else to go and just die.

oh wait i haven’t told you about orientation yet.
it was one word : bollocks.
i swear, if there’s any other way to waste time, it’s orientations.
and if there’s anything else, it’s the people in the orientations.
myself included, because why?
i went as well +_+

but i had a blast with yaya, aisha, koo and paul yesterday
just downing glass after glass after glass.
i went home feeling good about myself and as the night wore out
i just felt that little bit more shitty about the first day of class.

damn we’ll just see what happens tmw, yes?

p/s: at the rate i’m going, the bottle might just be my next best friend.

let's just be friends?

hahahha
i can’t ever say i’ve heard that line.
not yet anyhow.
but yes perhaps karma will get me back
and get me good this time.
i did say i want to talk about platonic friendships
and how they pretty much don’t exist for me
i quote jay ong kar kar
“he’s a guy, she’s a girl, it’s the 21st century, you know how it goes “
i think that’s how it went.
and i’d go so far as to support this line, completely.
it’s true la
like seriously.
there isn’t much to debate at this point of time
it is a social phenomenon
perhaps my friends know me as the only one that changes boys like underwear
hahahha
well for the record, i do no such thing.
i may be quick changing hands
but it doesn’t mean i do it all on purpose
hey, it’s my blog!
let me justify my actions eh? hahaha
i’d say it’s something that a person would encounter at least once
besides, how can you say that you are JUST friends with a person of the opposite sex (or sometimes, the same gender, )
when you know it, that there’s some sort of chemistry, and it doesn’t even matter if you’re attached at that time or not
and that the level of chemistry really depends on how far you’re willing to take it to.
please don’t friggin tell me i’m wrong.
i know how this goes
and if you don’t
then please go get some la.

yeah that’s how it is.
platonic friendships don’t exist for me.
you are either someone i really care about, or someone i can’t be bothered with.
i won’t ever see a person as someone as “just a friend”, that’s being lukewarm.
and i’m not like that. =/

for all you know, i might have had a little crush on you boys back then
hahahahha

i love my darlings! =)

dreary, shall we say?

i’ve left my other wordpress to the follies of my youth
something more light-hearted to discuss about among like-minded individuals
this, on the other hand, has received a make-over.
i hope to be able to talk about real things here.
things that matter.

has 2008 started for me?
in some ways, i think not.
denial has its way of twisting me around it’s finger.
there are still some people whom i am not talking to
solely for the fear that the dynamics may change
and not in my favor, at that.

i am learning to be less shallow with myself.
even the lies that i tell myself are becoming a little more real to me each day.
you ask, how can that be?
how do you speak of lies that eventually become true?
well there really isn’t such a thing
but only a figment of one’s imagination.
sometimes you repeat something over and over and over
so many times
that you start believing that it’s real.
i would not beg to differ.

i want very much to be accepted into Yale.
there is no doubt about that.
however i have yet to begin any real work that will help contribute to my application.
i think i have written out resolutions and wishes and aims for this year.
but i have not started on a single one.
this is how i know i have yet to kick off my 2008.
best year of my life?
i certainly hope so.
but it will definitely be nothing less of 366 days i’d rather not remember if i don’t do something about it, right now.

honesty did me some good a few months back.
i had the opportunity to cut myself from all ties that i felt were dragging me, slowing me down.

rolling around

i’d like to roll around. in the sand, on grass, on the seashore, on my bed.
okay, that was just random. =p

did i mention i start college next week?
=/
i’m not damn sad, or damn happy.
it is a place, after all, to start anew.
concentrate and work.
but Wednesday is coming a lot faster that i think it should.
in fact i have two days left before i am thrown into a world of chaos with teeny boppers running about, ooh-ing and aah-ing at every little thing in sight, i hope i can be discreet on the hot stuffs
but they ARE younger, so yeah mel, keep your hands off them young ‘uns +_+
depressingnya…

on another note, i had a jolly good time meeting up with half the girls in PL2 =)
what a very very rare occasion that is.
i didn’t think that would happen again especially since half of them are in the UK!
but yes, it was fun indeed, as exhausting that day may be.
can you believe it, i fell asleep watching atonement the second time around? +_+

wait i’ve been on this post, distracted by facebook, only been wanting to rant about how singapore’s all the best gigs in the house and it’s all happening in the first three months of 08.
can someone help me plot to rob a bank!
goodness.
i can’t decide which gig to attend, how do i get the money to attend the afore-mentioned gig, and where to bleeding stay after the gig.
did i mention i don’t have a passport either?
hahahahha
there’s dream theatre!, switchfoot!, INCUBUS!, MAROON bleeding 5!
omg. it’s so mengada.
of all the places, they want to go to expensive, boring, ol’ singapore!
+_+
this does mean, either i scrimp on food and go, or just settle for RWMF 08.
i have yet to decide which is harder to decide to skip, get me?
no worries, i don’t either
but yes i am tu lan.
siiiiigh.
if i can find sponsorship for all 5 major events, confirm i don’t have to study dy..

next up, i want to talk about platonic friendships.
do they exist? i think not.
at least not in my world.
and about all the other stuff i forgot to say here.

xoxo!

can you say it's the best new year yet?

well well well…..
i certainly didn’t think it’d turn out like that
in fact, i bumped into many familiar faces
and i loved almost every moment of my new years celebration with peanuts + one
bumping into old friends, toying with spray cans and sticky fizz
lousy service at TGIF, but good company.
idiots who are completely uncivilized pooped my party
nevertheless, very few cute faces, i’ve been hoping to bump into him again
alas, lady luck wasn’t smiling on me last night =/
but i did have the best new year yet, really.
lips counted, 9 hours?? like wtf
not a dull moment

i read this on en’s blog, abt how she doesn’t believe that how you spend the first minute of new year defines how the rest of the year will be.
i remember the start of 07 and how i spent it
GOD forbid it’ll ever happen again
i really did spend MOST of 07 as i did the first few minutes of the new year.
now THAT was some shit i’d rather put away.

aside from all that, i really did make 07 my cuti-cuti malaysia year.
i lived up to tourism malaysia’s tagline for once! =)
not that i ever bothered myself abt it la
but still, i went to miri, on the 3rd of jan
and nicole was my superb hostess!
came back and moved into lafite 512 with naz and ben
made some really good friends in en, joe and zaim.
met even more people from taylors, juniors, seniors…
i’m too friendly for my own good
hahahhaha
went to lang tengah in april for josh’s birthday
damn the beach at night has to be the BEST place to be EVER….
i wanna own an island when i make it! hahahha

exams, prom and then we are off to redang!
alco-land i swear!
but good time definitely
geez, you know me la
anywhere with the beach, the friends, and the juice is the place to be la =)

perhentian was good too, with you looking out for me
thanks love =)

kuching had to be almost the best trip
minus the bloody drama la
my claws were nearly in place +_+
fantastic music, awesome company, what more can i ask for?
more tuak, of course! hahahha

ipoh was an anti-climax but why would i trade a fun trip with fun people? =)
*i think i’ve been blogging a lot abt my trips, on previous blogs too*
but oh wtf, new year, new blog, new post la!
must remember all the fun times i had!
that’s the purpose of a darn blog right?
or else i’d forget my happy stuff!

i didn’t make it to penang, bangkok, bali or london last year.
not this year either i suppose =(
but i’ll make it to kuching, for sure!
peanuts especially, don’t mengada, lol!

i met up with naz, felix, and aiman today!
damn it’s been too long since i’ve seen any of em
atonement was good
so i’m watching it again!
and i shopped like crazy
now i’m shit broke!
die la now
how now brown cow??
no money to shop! =(
siiiiigh
must work again la i suppose =/
sien!

i miss all of you!
*mwah!
hope you had a fantastic new year like i did!

playing games

i never really did give a hoot about winning or losing
as long as i got a place in the game.
but playing the field is something i’d like to think i’m good at.
and at the same time, i’d like to be playing with the people who are worth my time
this is not a game for wussies
but then again, this is not meant for a specific person
it’s more as a personal reminder to myself and to all out there who are like me,
to always pick an opposition party that is of equal rank and footing
it bores me to death when i am the only one that is eager to bend and break every rule there is
and the other is only there for sweet talking
like seriously, give me a break
forgive my straightforward mannerisms
but i can’t be wasting time on little boys
if you’re there with me, i hope that you can prove some measure of courage
it doesn’t take a lot, but once you’ve signed up for this exclusive game
dear heavens, it’s not something you can just switch off
you need to be prepared to give in, and to do as you say
not just all talk and no action.
sigh
this is why i am setting the bar higher
there’s gotta be a screening test before the admission is *sirim* certified
hahaha =)

but i’m definitely not playing the field with you, my love =)
damn i miss you.