It's magic, when it happens. There are millions of people in between us, yet when we spoke, it was nameless, without status. i feel humbled and small under your gaze.
but we shared, just what we can, what time would allow in that moment.
the sudden rush of words, the difficulty to grasp accents, the gestures, and mostly we knew that despite the years between us, we found a voice in the other.
we belonged to each other's world, a space reserved for the faceless. even though I could never imagine what sort of life you lead in your plane and vice versa.
I'll summon the courage to speak to you when we meet. I'll keep my fears locked, and immerse my mind in yours. Even if we never cross paths again, I know we existed in that place and time.
i hope that it will be on a train from Pondicherry to Kerala. or whilst sipping a cappucino in Florence. it could be when we've landed at Rio, or drifting along the Mekong. I don't mind sharing the skies of Alexandria, or the seas of Ibiza.
I hope you will feel exactly how I feel now, because it's beyond words where this could take me.
i already know how our souls will spark the fire within us.
31.5.11
22.5.11
something like it.
hello, beautiful. i just felt like that was sort of appropriate, somehow needing to greet you, a repository for all my feelings, where i write at my happiest and lowest.
this is make or break week for me. i'm officially ruined academically if i can't make it through to hand up all my assignments.
yes, and i'm still here because for once, i'm yearning to tell you, that i, i am nothing more than just a mere shadow of the giants that walk next to us but if you'd let me, i would be a little more each passing day.
this is make or break week for me. i'm officially ruined academically if i can't make it through to hand up all my assignments.
yes, and i'm still here because for once, i'm yearning to tell you, that i, i am nothing more than just a mere shadow of the giants that walk next to us but if you'd let me, i would be a little more each passing day.
13.5.11
flip that light on please and thank you.
in the mood to publish.
so yes i will spam the lot of you with a smattering of words and leave.
it's funny to be in love i suppose. but that's not the point of this.
yes, i am happy but what is it really that makes one gets those butterflies on the inside? what gets you giddy with excitement and have you laughing at conversations that strangers would just raise an eyebrow at because they don't understand a single word that you're saying to each other anyway?
i don't know. all i'm faced with now is the feeling that this might just end in a disaster that i may have single-handedly created for myself. i'm great at sabotage, i should just be led into a 4x4 cell to sit there for life and to cause no further damage to myself.
but i need to count my numerous blessings this year. '11 has been absolutely smashing. nothing has been fucked up, either by myself or someone else.
my family is nothing short of a daily miracle, taking my shit like no one else would. beautiful friends who are there, amazing creatures in their own right. and as i found out yesterday, i also have some saints for lecturers. i have always believed teachers were the truly noble ones (my mother included, she's a gem) and i don't even deserve it but my INT teacher has been nothing but kind to me. she doesn't even get anything out of it but i will never, ever take her or anyone of them for granted again. i was completely honest with her, and didn't see the point in lying anyway. getting back in the groove of university means i will hopefully lose the wanderlust that is in me. in fact, she's right, spot on. everyone needs someone like her.
i might have spoken too soon, but hell i'd rather say it now and have it craved in granite than to have just let this slip my thoughts like sand would leave your hands. i am also tasting an incredible love that just feels right in every way. there's no equal to what he is to me at this moment. perhaps it's also incredibly unfair of me to compare, but what else is there for me to draw a chart to?
call it cheesy, a phase, the honeymoon period, whatever you can think of.
but i'm having a little glimpse of happiness, so insatiable but so fulfilling.
it might not last, it might just dissipate and evaporate into complete darkness, but while i have all of these in my life now, i will make every inch of it mine.
i hope you'll never live to say that it's been a regret knowing me because only the universe knows what words cannot even begin to explain what each one of you means to me at this point of time in my life.
all this traveling has done a little to chip off some of me every time. soon i'll be left with less than me, and more of everyone, just the way i'd always hoped it would be.
so yes i will spam the lot of you with a smattering of words and leave.
it's funny to be in love i suppose. but that's not the point of this.
yes, i am happy but what is it really that makes one gets those butterflies on the inside? what gets you giddy with excitement and have you laughing at conversations that strangers would just raise an eyebrow at because they don't understand a single word that you're saying to each other anyway?
i don't know. all i'm faced with now is the feeling that this might just end in a disaster that i may have single-handedly created for myself. i'm great at sabotage, i should just be led into a 4x4 cell to sit there for life and to cause no further damage to myself.
but i need to count my numerous blessings this year. '11 has been absolutely smashing. nothing has been fucked up, either by myself or someone else.
my family is nothing short of a daily miracle, taking my shit like no one else would. beautiful friends who are there, amazing creatures in their own right. and as i found out yesterday, i also have some saints for lecturers. i have always believed teachers were the truly noble ones (my mother included, she's a gem) and i don't even deserve it but my INT teacher has been nothing but kind to me. she doesn't even get anything out of it but i will never, ever take her or anyone of them for granted again. i was completely honest with her, and didn't see the point in lying anyway. getting back in the groove of university means i will hopefully lose the wanderlust that is in me. in fact, she's right, spot on. everyone needs someone like her.
i might have spoken too soon, but hell i'd rather say it now and have it craved in granite than to have just let this slip my thoughts like sand would leave your hands. i am also tasting an incredible love that just feels right in every way. there's no equal to what he is to me at this moment. perhaps it's also incredibly unfair of me to compare, but what else is there for me to draw a chart to?
call it cheesy, a phase, the honeymoon period, whatever you can think of.
but i'm having a little glimpse of happiness, so insatiable but so fulfilling.
it might not last, it might just dissipate and evaporate into complete darkness, but while i have all of these in my life now, i will make every inch of it mine.
i hope you'll never live to say that it's been a regret knowing me because only the universe knows what words cannot even begin to explain what each one of you means to me at this point of time in my life.
all this traveling has done a little to chip off some of me every time. soon i'll be left with less than me, and more of everyone, just the way i'd always hoped it would be.
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