30.3.08

amnesia

well not really.
i just forget things fast.
whether they are important or not.
i feel bad when it comes to people’s favourites
like good friends favourite dish, colour, phone
really trivial things when i put it in words.
but in reality, i’d feel hurt if a good friend forgets what i like for breakfast
then again, it varies. hahahha, ikut angin.

you get what i mean, yes?
you don’t call someone a buddy if you don’t even rmbr their favourite drink.

it’s just one of those things that’s been at the back of my mind for a while now
you don’t get to be pissed at me now (:

29.3.08

harder to breathe.

adam levine is the only person who can make me hyperventilate, give me asthmatic problems i never knew i had, fuck my mind like no one else does, and sing like a rockstar with adoring fans all over, have a sell-out concert that ends early and yet 101% satisfaction is achieved.
his drummer and guitarist, matt flynn and james valentine were incredible. even incredible is too small a word for them. seriously, you haven’t seen anything til you see them perform. the entire band was just out of this world. i swear, i could die happy now that i’ve seen them live. i had some doubts that they might disappoint, but that went out of the window the moment they rocked the 9,500 people in the stadium with harder to breathe, this love, if i never see your face again, etc. my personal favourite has to be “the sun”

i’ve had a thing for that song since a few years back, and i was actually quite surprised they chose to play it.
it’s not a super popular song, definitely not big like “she will be loved”(which was their finale, that had the crowd going wild) or “makes me wonder”. but adam had everyone singing to “won’t go home without you”. omg, it was amazing. just perfect. they were the epitome of perfection, so damn charismatic, we were putty in his hands, he had us eating out of whatever he dangled in front of us…. omg. we got it bad. they were excellent performers. at one point, adam had everyone of us snapping our fingers, while singing.omg what wouldn’t i give to be there again and again and again?

i’m DEFINITELY going to maroon 5 again, if they ever come around to asia. ADAM IS THE SEX. (:

next concert? corrine bailey rae/john mayer/whoever else who’s hawt as well la. (:

i stayed up late on monday night talking online to certain people (:
so when i woke up the next morning, i was running late.
heck i was afraid the damn bus would leave without us! @_@
spent the whole bus ride catching up, good times! gossip and whatnot hahah
immigration is USELESS, shit i could smuggle whatever i want and not be detected okay! nia… what’s the point of having two guys standing there like they mean it? +_+
waste money.
i have to admit, i was kinda sesat in singapore.
maybe cause it was a completely different country, i’ve never seen so many chinese people in one area at a time.
hahahha i know i am damn jakun.
who cares! (:
like when we alighted from the bus, i asked for directions from the the lady who served us on the bus to the nearest MRT station, *gay vibe from her though, ugh*
travelled to kallang/geylang, it’s not such a shabby place, where we stayed.
there was an italian guy sharing our “dorm”, it’s damn small la. i thought it was going to be sempit for lips and i already.
and then we have a dude there as well. i wasn’t pissed that we had someone else around, prolly just really taken aback. =/
he turned out to be a really nice guy (:
too bad he forget to give us his facebook. oh well, who knows? we might see him again
i spent the next half hour trying to call back to KL, damn annoying la all this country code business.
spent the afternoon with lipeng’s singaporean friend who studies at york and her boyfriend.
at least we had free ben and jerry’s hahahha
but seriously, i totally get why she complains about york 24/7. @_@
just one afternoon. although i shouldn’t be too quick to judge people.
after all, i’m not the one living with them. *shrugs*

anyhoo, we headed back to get ready for the big night.
it was great la except that the crowd wasn’t as crazy as us. if everyone was jumping up and down like we did in our heels, the stadium confirmed collapse.
there were also a bunch of stupid girls sitting a row in front of us, being stupid shitheads.
they were posing and taking photos of themselves DURING the concert.
you know, i get that you think you’re damn hot and all that. *fugly’s the word, my friends*
and sure, who doesn’t like to camwhore? but it’s unbelievable that they did all that while lipeng and i went apeshit over the concert, yelling till we were hoarse, singing along to the songs, swooning over adam and the band, omg-ing the whole night, yes even after the concert ended, i was on cloud 9, in 7th heaven, you name it, i was right there.
ma hai, you girls could give us the money you spent to buy tickets to a concert you didn’t really want to go for and we could get ourselves front row seats, you dumbshits! damn fucking so hai la. to make it even stupider, they won’t stop staring at us. yeah i know we were damn cool la, we can dance to maroon 5 and you wish you could be like us. but if you, like me, paid S$ 125 for the seats, but decided to concentrate on us instead, i should have gotten some commission for that.
i sure as hell didn’t know i could steal the limelight from adam levine. +_+

once again, it was fan-fucking-tastic, worth every penny, and i love maroon 5 forever and ever and ever and ever.
of course the night was still young as we got back to the hostel around 10.40, headed out at 11 to meet rachel, lipeng’s friend.
truth be told, tuesday nights are sucky nights to be in singapore cause most major clubs are closed
RAWR!
so rachel had to call her friends to find out which ones were open so we practically walked everywhere,and finally we cabbed to vivo city where there are nine clubs housed under one roof. the interior isn’t anything to shout about, we were at a club with a live band till 2am where we saw fat balding old men trying to boogie with hookers, getting free drink offers from fucking drunks who are damn old as well, then the next hour was spent dancing to pretty decent r&b, and that’s where we met a french guy. damn, i like his body (: a total gentleman, A+!

there was this perverted dude as well, like omg he shld seriously take a good look at the mirror and just shove off.
ew. definitely the highlight of the clubbing night was the french dude. damn 7 cute lor (:
too bad la lipeng didn’t have the balls to hook up, i would cut queue la, but not nice (:
see! i damn yi hei wan! hahahah
takpe i will even up the score this coming summer, even next weekend if we’re up to pull off another all-nighter!
hahahhaha i forgot to mention, we got back at the hostel at 7 am! cause we were too cheap to cab it back, with the surcharges and shit, so we danced til 5 ish and sat outside the club til 6 to get to the MRT that starts operating at that hour.
omg damn crazy lor. i’ve NEVER done that. EVER. as crazy as i am, that was probably the craziest thing i’ve done so far. (:

so yeah, we slept off til around 10 ish, cleaned up, checked out *reception girl gave off a gay vibe too, wtf*
went to vivo, walked, talked, coffee-ed, hopped on the bus and back to KL. boo!
it was a great trip, had loads of fun (:
the peanuts must make it this summer, j-man, i hope you won’t disappoint (:

i’ll update about everything else soon-ish.
i don’t really feel the blog bug biting even tho i am online quite a bit.

*mwah!

17.3.08

there are no free lunches.

sometimes i gotta ask the big guy up there.
what do i do when something free drops on my lap?
should i take it or push it away?

you know as well as i do, there are no free things in this world.
you have to pay, in the end. either in kind or in cash.
so what do i do?
it sounds dodgy. it sounds wayyyyy too good to be true.
it’s fucking free.

the situation could go a lot of ways. it could be awesome, without a hitch, smooth sailing baby
it could end up… well, feel free to let ur imagination run wild all over the place.
i don’t know.
i can’t tell.
i am not some astrologer/fortune teller/weatherman. okay that was not relevant.
bottom line, i can’t foresee anything coming.
i just….. don’t know.

all i can do, is just to go. why, you may ask. since shit and more could happen. because they bought the damn ticket already. and if i was bleeding rich, i could just pay it off and not go.
but.i am not. therefore it looks like i am going.
GOD, i’m giving this to you.
it’s ENTIRELY up to You to decide whether i go or not.
even though it will , no doubt, be fun and etc etc
i think it’s best for You to be the judge.
i am scared. i am young. i can go any damn time i want. but, can i trust myself to them?
+_+

fuck. i always get myself into such shit.

12.3.08

red

you don’t get to dictate me.
you don’t get to be my boss.

am i pissed or what.

unexpected

in the view of the elections, my previous post was pretty down in the dumps.
i had, without a doubt, expected the 2/3 to remain with the ruling party.
but as it turns out, over-turned, flipped, fried, screwed, burnt, drained
there are a whole lot of words to describe the situation that the big bosses must be in now.
i am happy. that the people have, for once, chosen to speak up and not lay low.
to be fair, i still have my fears that it would amount to just more than balloting to take away the power that the current government. there were strikes, riots, rallying, “peaceful” demonstrations, all that and more in the last six months.
there could be more.

and then i had my turn with a government department, complete with officers and throngs of waiting people.
see, i need a passport, and to cut the super long story short, i didn’t get it.
because apparently i am not considered a resident of the Peninsula.
is this just mere bullshit that they want to put me through so that i can miss the concert?
making me run up and down the whole afternoon and to tell me in the end that i have to wait two months for my passport application to even be in the process, because they will have to courier my documents and wait some more so that they will ship it over from Borneo………*insert explicit language, a lot of anger, frustration, and an intention to hurt so badly there won’t be any problems the next time i want to apply for something with anybody*

it’s unbelievable. really.

11.3.08

wasted.

want you to caress me like a tropical breeze
and float away with you in a caribbean sea

we talked. and laughed. talked somemore. it’s not the end of the world.
nice guy. perhaps not boyfriend material that’s all.

the weekend was spent, as usual, getting tanked.
i can’t recall a dry spell. not the last three months.
it ain’t surprising anymore. i should just keep it to me. and *F.
cause at the very least, some people get why i do it. why it’s fun doing it.

i do it. you don’t get to judge me.

2.3.08

truth... really?

honesty evades me. not that there’s a lot of me to spout in the first place.

certain things, and by things, i mean secrets. they are pieces i can’t handle. true enough, it’s a part of me. but i’m afraid of cutting myself if i pick them up. shards of shattered glass. tiptoe, balance off around such fragments of my own life that i dare not touch.

i steer clear of all political, gender, sexual, religious, racial, issues. does that define who i am? if i take away all that is i, what is left? i am segregated by politics, it’s a belief that i should vote for the opposition party, whichever that might be. if only to have a different ruling body, even if change isn’t something that might come along. but as much as we want to believe in democracy, it doesn’t exist anywhere else but in our heads. deny them 2/3 and we get what we want? i really doubt the majority of our country would want anything to change. the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. bribery, extortion,black markets, corruption, polygamy, spoon fed education, poverty, racial discrimination. these are real problems in real time. why are they not addressed? why no solutions? have the brains of our country gone off to seek better opportunities elsewhere? i am not surprised. is this a generation of people who are incapable of thinking for themselves? i am ashamed to say that i was previously an ignorant member of this society. and even now, perhaps i am still ignorant. i still comfortable in my zone, typing away at these problems but not doing anything about it. am i afraid of being labelled? i, a branch of this tree that is rotting away to parasites of a forest i can’t wait to cut myself away from. why then are we satisfied with how things go? is there not supposed to be a voice for change? real change? we are already divided as we came to be. can you categorize unity? individualism, i say. “no man is an island”? you’re the only one you can count on.

different political stands, multiple races, even more religions, there used to be only man and woman, but with technology and a few liberal countries, even gender becomes complicated. how can we still say there’s unity? of course, as human beings, of flesh and blood, we are supposed to be equal.

ah what has this post become…..

i’ve spun far across what i’ve intended to say. but these are random thoughts i need to tie together. interrelated.

maybe in the light of the election, i have evolved temporarily into a person who cares somewhat for this nation. my view of realism has suppressed any inkling of ideal worlds. they let you down. remember that.

1.3.08

happy birthday daddy

i’m at a loss of words today.
but he doesn’t read my blog also, thank GOD for that.

i love you so much.

end.